Discipline - When, Why and How |
"Do not withhold discipline from a child" - Proverbs 23:13 It is intriguing that the words disciple and discipline are so close in meaning. Both of the words have "to nurture" in their original definitions. So we cannot talk about nurturing and training without considering discipline. As we read the passage from Hebrews 12 (below) it helps us see the picture of what God has in mind for disciplining us in order to disciple us. We see it comes from His heart of love. We see that it is painful for a short time. And we see that it brings joy and the peaceful fruit of righteousness. This is so contrary to the world's ideas of discipline. But it is God's design for loving and nurturing our children. |
"It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:7-11
Teaching our child to obey
The first five years of a child’s life are a time to introduce him to the fact that he lives in a world of authority. We have the opportunity to give our children a safe and protected place to learn that he is never in charge – that the whole universe is under God’s rule. God has given us (parents) the privilege of being one of the first human agents in his life that expresses God’s authority. Continue reading
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The Event
Taking time to make the discipline an event where teaching and training take place is important.
Look at a sample plan- The Event to glean which ingredients God would have us incorporate with our children. It is less confusing to our children if dad and mom present a united front and are in unity about the principles of discipline, even if we use different techniques. Together we can ask God to give a plan that will incorporate grace. With each step we should run to God and ask Him what to do. If we just devise a plan and follow it each time, without praying, we are valuing our own abilities and stepping away from being dependent on God. Continue reading |
The difference between discipline and punishment
As we read Scripture we will see that discipline and punishment have completely different definitions, purposes, focuses, attitudes and resulting emotions. In the New Testament it is clear that God only punishes unbelievers and that he disciplines his children. This is true because Jesus took the punishment for God's children and there is no longer any condemnation for those who belong to Him. (Romans 8:1-2) Continue reading
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Using positive encouragement for training
How did Christ nurture his guys that hung around with him. One story that comes to mind is when they were together in the temple and they saw people giving. In this teaching example, Jesus praised the widow who had given her last pennies to God. (Encouragement).
Based on Christ’s example and teachings, our corrections should be surrounded by encouragements. These can come in the form of praise but they can also be visible acts. How can we catch our children doing the right thing and encourage them in a tangible way? By the way, when we start doing this intentionally we will be amazed how often we generally overlook the great things they are doing but are prone to emphasis the negative things instead! Continue reading
Based on Christ’s example and teachings, our corrections should be surrounded by encouragements. These can come in the form of praise but they can also be visible acts. How can we catch our children doing the right thing and encourage them in a tangible way? By the way, when we start doing this intentionally we will be amazed how often we generally overlook the great things they are doing but are prone to emphasis the negative things instead! Continue reading